The Fear Of Not Mattering

Lesson 2

Here the pdf, Fearless – The fear of not mattering

My comments will be in Burgundy-Rhonda

The fear of not mattering is like a small mouse that roars like a lion. No one wants to admit they feel insignificant—it appears to be too small to even mention and if we do then it will causes others to know we insignificant! So we appear to be on top of that game in our churches today. But we see underline tones of if when we’re asked to do something for the good of the body of Christ. We will answer in many ways:
• I’ve never done that before…I think someone else could probably be better than me.
• I am not comfort around that age people.
• _________________________________________________
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Everyone wants to be accepted. But there are worldly rules that have set standards for us. Beginning as children we heard comparison between siblings, grades, and even parents. Then add materialism to the equation; designer clothes with labels, hair styles, and friends (peers) who wear the “best”. But styles changes, and what we thought would make us significant is yesterday’s news, so we are back to square one, because we can’t keep up.

Read:
Proverbs 8:17
17I love those who love me, and those who seek me early and diligently shall find me

Maybe we have attached our significance with people or a person. If we can just get into the group…you know the “click”. It happens in the best of churches. But it started even as children. Wanting to be chosen to be on someone’s team, if only we could be a cheerleader/football star, or even if we could just be ask to sit at that special table during lunch THEN we could be somebody everyone would look up to.
We feel like a square peg trying to fit into a circular hole.

Read Matt. 10:29-31
29Are not two little sparrows sold for a penny? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s leave (consent) and notice.
30But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31Fear not, then; you are of more value than many sparrows.

So we go through our child hood either confident in who we are, or we become aware, by the world’s standard who we AREN’T! Time passes we have already labeled ourselves and we will continue our thoughts of not mattering into our young adulthood.

Then we think, ok my childhood is behind me so I will try to be something now. If I can get a great job, marry the right person and have children I will find my significance…I will matter. We get in debt to look great, we attend the right school, because we look the part we are invited to the right places and we meet the right people who are very superficial and we deny ourselves the truth of God’s word once again for several years.And there he/she is…perfect in our opinion because they MATTER to everyone! So obviously if I marry her/him I will be somebody. And because I am not sure of who I am I will do ANYTHING to get her/him…this is very IMPORTANT in defining who I am. Whatever he/she wants you will do, no matter what you have been taught or what it makes you feel like afterwards.

Read:
Isaiah 40:11
11He will feed His flock like a shepherd: He will gather the lambs in His arm, He will carry them in His bosom and will gently lead those that have their young.

So wedding bells ring. Children are born and we find our idenity in her/him and them. Because we don’t matter. Every now and then we see glimpies of the TRUTH but it’s too tiring to deal with and time goes by. We don’t even think about it as much, because you are still basing your significance on others and things.

Then one day you are at church and we actually hear the word of God that says we are very important to God. He loves us more than anyone of anything!! We begin to cry—we feel those old feelings of being a NOBODY and NOT MATTERING. But we are finally hearing the TRUTH. We look at your children sitting beside us…one day they will be gone. Our husband looks at us strangly not knowing why we are crying. He should know why we are crying—he should know us like the back of his hand, why doesn’t he know why we are hurting so? Because….because we are significant to him and the children. He can’t imagine our pain.

Here is the good news for all of us…WE DO MATTER! WE WERE CREATED TO MATTER. WE WERE BORN WITH A PLAN AND A PURPOSE.

Jeremiah 29:11 (Amplified Bible)
11For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

We are very important. Truth begins to crack our child like hearts. We see clearly all the past lies satan told us. Truth will set us free and let’s look at some scriptures that will prove we are more significant than we have deceived ourselves to believe.

In Max’s book, Fearless, on page 26, paragraph 1 & 2a, let’s see a mirror before us:
Fear of insignificance creates the result of dreads, arrives at the destination it tries to avoid, facilitates the scenario lit disdains. If a basketball player stands at the foul line repeating, “I’ll never make the shot, I’ll never make the shot,” guess what? He’ll never make the shot. If you pass your days mumbling, I’ll never make a difference; I’m not worth anything,” guess what? You will be sentenced yourself to a life of gloom without parole.
Even more, you are disagreeing with God. Questioning His judgement. Second guessing his taste. According to Him you were “skillfully wrought.” (Ps. 139:15) He can’t stop thinking about us!!

Read Psalms 139: 14-18
14I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.
15My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.
17How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!(A)
18If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.

Read: Ephesians 2:10
10For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), [a]recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].

We must find our significance in God, first and foremost! Sure we may have made mistakes in the past because of the lies satan has told us, maybe we have deceived ourselves, but the Truth is WE ARE SET FREE! God say all things work together for the good and according to His purpose to bring Himself honor and glory. This can be your point A—your first day of the rest of your life. The final decision is ours… Let God’s word the sword of Truth cut the bonds that have held us captive for along time.

1 John 3:19
19By this we shall come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we are of the Truth, and can reassure (quiet, conciliate, and pacify) our hearts in His presence,

1 John 4:18
18There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection].